Quote of the Day: Gender (e)Qualities

Thomas over at Feministing posed a great question in response to the movie trailer for the new film, An Emasculating Truth:

So I’ve been thinking about this, and I keep coming back to a question that I can’t answer:

What positive qualities do I want to see in a son that I don’t want to see in a daughter?

I can’t think of any.

Great question.  Hopefully, it stumps most everyone.  Hardcore sexists, maybe not so much.  But in the least, it’s a great conversation starter.

Quote of the day: Feministing

Courtney over at Feministing have put together a compilation of various men’s thoughts in response to her previous post, which discusses alternatives to “toxic masculinity” (e.g., Tucker Max).  My personal favorite (either by Courtney or David Pitcher — I can’t tell) echoes sentiments I expressed in response to a local outbreak of domestic violence murder-suicides:

Boys are so paranoid about appearing feminine that they adapt a “culture of cruelty” and retreat into the common male role. How can we raise our boys to break this pattern?

To answer this question, a little further up, Alex Dibranco ventures:

What if

Guns, Sex(ism), and Hugs

What a week.  One shooting at Fort Hood, then a second shooting in Orlando…a bit closer to home (Portland, OR), the 3rd shooting of the week…because she filed for divorce??  And a fourth shooting and a fifth shooting in the Portland-metro area.  In all five cases the perpetrators are men.

UPDATE (11/18):   A sixth shooting…

UPDATE (11/30):  Seventh shooting and eighth shooting

UPDATE (12/03): Ninth shooting

In the last three four SIX SEVEN local intimate partner cases in a matter of weeks, it is the same old story…

1. man believes he has a right to control women

poem: free trade 071609

Sex service users create the demand that moves pimps to provide supply women and young girls.  Without demand, there would be no pimp, no sex slave.  We need to go after the users, most of whom are men, many of whom are white and/or economically privileged.    ’nuff said…here’s the trick…

Open Letter of Resignation

PLEASE NOTE:  Many readers have stumbled across this post while searching for example letters of resignation.  I am not suggesting the below resignation as a template or model if you are considering resigning from your workplace for similar issues.  Please be aware that there are repercussions for resigning publicly, and for calling out powerful people on their crap.

Below is the letter of resignation I just sent.  I was doing anti-violence work under an executive director who has her entire staff terrified and purges the organization of all employees who show anything other than submissive assent to her.  Why does she bully her employees?  According to some recent peer-reviewed research in social psychology, it’s because she feels both incompetent AND empowered.  Scary combination, and completely unacceptable and inappropriate anywhere — let alone within the context of anti-violence and social justice work!

UPDATE (9/21):  The SATF Executive Director’s response is included, below.

UPDATE (9/24):  Another follow up from the Executive Director, which includes a message that Eva Kutas, Board President, sent to the SATF staff (but not the listservs).

UPDATE (10/7):  A follow up that came through RAINN, entitled “Just What Are We Afraid Of?”

September 21, 2009

To Whom It May Concern,

It is with a heavy heart that I hereby submit my resignation as Prevention Specialist of the Oregon Attorney General’s Sexual Assault Task Force.

DiezelP: Time for us to respect women

DiezelP writes over at What’s Happening PDX:

Will Hip-Hop Ever Reach Its Full Potential?

The Worth of Women

How will hip hop ever grow to its full potential when the very gender that reproduces our future artists, activists, columnists, producers, and entrepreneurs of our urban community are belittled to almost an object for the testosterone filled modern day rappers? When did the women of our culture become only useful for physical beauty and sexual activity? Why doesn’t Rap music uplift and inspire their female listeners to reach the same level of success males have?

HAVEN: Hip Hop Against Violence Everywhere Now

Who is Diezel P?

DiezelP is one of many talented up and coming emcees who are involved in the beginning stages of a collaborative project entitled “HAVEN:  Hip Hop Against Violence Everywhere Now”

women in jazz

WOW. Grace Kelly. Y’all remember that, alright? Seriously. So I heard this amazing interpretation of “Ain’t No Sunshine” on the radio, waiting with baited breath to hear who the hell it was behind this crazy shee-it. Turns out, you have to qualify it as crazy youthful sixteen year old second-gen Korean American she-it to be accurate. Grace Kelly. Mood Changes.

In the liner notes, Don Heckman beautifully describes the casual sexism us men often carelessly throw around. Here’s an excerpt (emphasis mine):

It’s that time of year again…

That’s right, it’s time for the Super Bowl. Again. Although I bet the festive atmosphere will be somewhat muted by the dismal state of the economy, there will always be…the entertaining commercials. And this year, they’re gonna have to try extra hard to get what little cash or credit we have left.

the violence in all of us

Haven Daley of the Associated Press reports:

A woman was taunted for being a lesbian, repeatedly raped by four men and left naked outside an abandoned apartment building, authorities said.

Detectives say the 28-year-old victim was attacked Dec. 13 after she got out of her car in Richmond, in the San Francisco Bay area.

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