UPDATE: Alex Dibranco is a woman. And I still love her question. Thank you to Alex for the correction.
Courtney over at Feministing have put together a compilation of various men’s thoughts in response to her previous post, which discusses alternatives to “toxic masculinity” (e.g., Tucker Max). My personal favorite (either by Courtney or David Pitcher — I can’t tell) echoes sentiments I expressed in response to a local outbreak of domestic violence murder-suicides:
Boys are so paranoid about appearing feminine that they adapt a “culture of cruelty” and retreat into the common male role. How can we raise our boys to break this pattern?
To answer this question, a little further up, Alex Dibranco ventures:
What if everyone just worked toward being a decent (feminist) person?
A simple and elegant rejection of the narrow confines of the unhealthy masculine and feminine gender roles that we expect everyone to force themselves into. Tal Peretz sums up this line of thought:
…why do we need masculinity, if all the positive traits associated with it are just as easily associated with humanity, and all that’s left as decisively masculine is harmful?
For the record, feminists started asking the same thing about traits associated with femininity decades ago. With masculinity, we are playing catch up. Especially so now with more men than ever on board. The full Rio Declaration is here.