110212 failing vessel

110212

last night i dreamt i died in my sleep from a stroke.  i felt the subtle click in my head as the blood clot dislodged.  i felt the pressure build in my brain as the blood flow stopped the vital supply of oxygen behind the blockage.  there was no pain as my vision turned a solid, foggy grey and my consciousness slipped, and drifted away.  i felt desperate, struggling to free my self from my body, my brain, the failing vessel in which i was trapped, and yet cried peaceful all the same.  i was drowning, and it was okay. i looked up nostalgically toward the playful surface as i sunk deeper into darkness, fuzzy purpose, finally losing sight of the world from which i came.

when i awoke, there was no difference to me between dream and wakeful reality.  something inside me had died.

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