061511 unfair burden

061511

i spent the better part of the last several days
pondering and practicing all the ways i could say…
“it,” without ever actually having to say it to you

i spent so much emotional energy
stifling, deploring, dismissing, ignoring
what every fiber of my being told me,
“but that’s exactly what you should do…”

because i was too afraid to trade
a bird in the hand of emotional safety
for an hourglass of sand, and
through the counsel of friends and family, i knew…

half of my fears were justified
while you were fighting so hard just to stay here
telling you was irrelevant, an act of pride

but deep down inside i also worried
that there would simply be no reciprocity
no genuine, “i love you, too”
and that’s an unfair burden for me and for you

so i’m here through fate to say it now,
knowing you are not obligate to reciprocate.
and i have faith that you will do
with this knowledge
exactly whatever it is you choose…

i love you.

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2 Responses to 061511 unfair burden

  1. Julie Buhite says:

    This is so beautiful, Ethan. I got chill bumps. Really lovely.

  2. ozob says:

    thank you so much for reading, and so glad it could connect with you as well :)

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