101212 our debts

101212
—
our bodies, our lives
your eyes, your lies

our desperation, our pain
your money, your gain

our privacy, our danger
your privilege, your stranger

our risk, your pleasure
our performance, you measure

your satisfaction. our action
no more, because you don’t own us.

but you do owe us.
we are coming to settle the score.

we are coming to collect our debts.
tell your family you love them,
say goodbye, and confess.

breathe a sigh of relief, release
your soul in God’s hands, soon
for your sake, we hope you believe
there is nothing here on Earth left for you.

men are anatomically inconsiderate?

To all the men reading this:

If you identify with the reasons stated below, please listen.  I’m saying this out of genuine concern for you as a human being:  Go see a doctor.  It’s neither normal nor healthy for your junk to hurt when you assume a normal sitting position (and I say this as someone who hates sitting, period).  You might have cancer, or a particularly nasty STI.  A few (very very small percentage) of you might actually have abnormally large reproductive organs which makes sitting (or maybe even standing) normally difficult.  I feel for you — maybe consider surgical options?

http://mic.com/articles/99858/entitled-men-everywhere-just-can-t-stop-taking-up-all-the-space-on-public-transportation

Bambu for Women’s History Month

The two songs below are two small (and important) reasons why Bambu is one of my favorite artists/activists of any kind, anywhere

1. Something

March, in case you were unaware, is Women’s History Month. Los Angeles’ own, Bambu, leaks a song that takes a look at domestic violence from a personal perspective. The song speaks on his family history with violence in the home, as well as his own struggles with it, even touching on the normalcy of such violence against women in our own Hip Hop culture. For this one, DJ Phatrick stepped out from behind the turntables to produce, sampling Adele’s “Someone Like You.” A video is set to drop at the end of the month and the song will also be included on Bambu’s …Exact Change… re-release bonus EP, Short Changed, dropping on April 29, 2011 through Beatrock Music Label.

2. The Queen Is Dead…. an older song calling out sexism in the “conscious” and “progressive” elements…

Bambu explains the track here (track #5)

If you haven’t yet, also check out his “Old Man Raps” (explanation is track #7) and “Crooks and Rooks” videos, as well.

Quote of the Day: Diamonds and Sex Trafficking

“A diamond is forever”

Here’s some cultural context for you in an analysis of this new phenomenon of the “GFE” in prostitution:

[…]Dude, talk about buying someone heart and soul.

Then of course there’s the entitlement aspect. The men who engage in such a thing not only believe that it’s right and appropriate to buy away a woman’s loathing of them and that she should act like she likes it, but they also believe that they, for whatever reason, have a right to a relationship. They have a right to buy another human being, use it, discard it, and she should pretend that she enjoys it.

A local anti-sexist activist of faith here (where I live) regularly talks about how “the culture is a pimp for all our girls and women.”   In other words,

immigration: yet another example of sexist piggybacking on racism

i do not have a witty title for this.

A great introduction to and reposting of an equally-great article in Latina Magazine, embedded ironically amongst adverts featuring toothpick-skinny white models and french-sounding perfumes.

Let’s call it the intersection of racism and sexism, via immigration.  I fully and whole-heartedly support this blogger’s message to “these people condemning refugees,” amounting to a resounding

 

fuck you for every asylee you want to send home. These people need help, and you are sending them back to hell and, in many cases, certain death. I am not exaggerating to make you feel guilty — this is truth, and I hope you never have to live in the same terror these people do[…]

I will leave the story as to why there was even a copy of Latina Magazine in my house in the first place for another day…

Same old question: Where are the men?

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. However, according to sociologist Dr. Evan Stark, the term “domestic violence” is a bit of a misnomer: Up until they try to leave, abuse survivors experience “coercive control” — a spectrum of instrumental violence consisting of intimidation, isolation, and physical abuse meant to maintain an abuser’s power. Thus, the abuse survivors experience is not necessarily domestic, nor is it physically violent. As such, abuse survivors often face three difficult options: Stay with the abuser and live in terror, try to leave and risk serious harm, or try to neutralize their abuser.

Toward the end of last year, several women and children in the Portland-metro area tried to leave their abusers behind. As a result, their abusers murdered them. Under the lead of the Portland Women’s Crisis Line, the community responded with a vigil. During this month of October, 2010, my thoughts turn back to my experience at that vigil last year…

As horrific as these murders are, an abuser’s final homicidal tendencies are just the tip of the iceberg of what abuse survivors experience daily in our communities. They live their lives in an atrocious terror that is completely preventable, and their murders are flash points, like lightning on a stormy horizon. The storm of violence will continue to surge in our communities and terrorize our loved ones if we keep ignoring the warning signs and their underlying causes. When will we commit ourselves to acting as a community?

Let me clarify who I mean when I say, “we.”

Guns, Sex(ism), and Hugs

What a week.  One shooting at Fort Hood, then a second shooting in Orlando…a bit closer to home (Portland, OR), the 3rd shooting of the week…because she filed for divorce??  And a fourth shooting and a fifth shooting in the Portland-metro area.  In all five cases the perpetrators are men.

UPDATE (11/18):   A sixth shooting…

UPDATE (11/30):  Seventh shooting and eighth shooting

UPDATE (12/03): Ninth shooting

UPDATE (02/11): Tenth shooting

In the last three four SIX SEVEN EIGHT local murders in a matter of weeks, it is the same old story…

1. man believes he has a right to control women

Football Fans: Racism, Sexism, Masculinity

Data source: Stokley gets ejected for slapping the ref
sample size: 1622 comments (as of 01:30 12/31/09)

A keyword search of comments reveals the following:
Pussy (and variants) x 72
Sissy x 4
Bitch (and variants) x 63
Fag (and variants) x  32
Gay x 30
blowjob jokes x 18
Nigger (and variants) x 36
Coons x 2

Assuming 1 keyword per comment, ~15.5% of comments are sexist or racist

CAVEATS:

Quote of the Day: Gender (e)Qualities

Thomas over at Feministing posed a great question in response to the movie trailer for the new film, An Emasculating Truth:

So I’ve been thinking about this, and I keep coming back to a question that I can’t answer:

What positive qualities do I want to see in a son that I don’t want to see in a daughter?

I can’t think of any.

Great question.  Hopefully, it stumps most everyone.  Hardcore sexists, maybe not so much.  But in the least, it’s a great conversation starter.

Quote of the day: Feministing

UPDATE:  Alex Dibranco is a woman.  And I still love her question.  Thank you to Alex for the correction.

Courtney over at Feministing have put together a compilation of various men’s thoughts in response to her previous post, which discusses alternatives to “toxic masculinity” (e.g., Tucker Max).  My personal favorite (either by Courtney or David Pitcher — I can’t tell) echoes sentiments I expressed in response to a local outbreak of domestic violence murder-suicides:

Boys are so paranoid about appearing feminine that they adapt a “culture of cruelty” and retreat into the common male role. How can we raise our boys to break this pattern?

To answer this question, a little further up, Alex Dibranco ventures:

What if